Not this time

I thought, as I reached for the phone.

Not this time

I thought, as I started typing the first few words.

Not now. Nevermore.

Not this time

I thought, as I reached for the bottle.

Not this time

I thought, as I heard your muffled scream.

Not now. Nevermore.

I’ve started exactly one more time than I have started stopping.

I’ve felt the urge exactly one more time than I have felt regret.

So, regret it, I shall again in the morning. Another day, another cycle to break.

Not this time

I thought, as I locked all the doors.

Not this time

I thought as I let down the blinds.

Not now. Nevermore.

Not this time

I thought, as I broke another mirror.

Not this time

I thought, as I faced myself again.

Not now. Nevermore.

I’ve started exactly one more time than I have started stopping.

I’ve felt the urge exactly one more time than I have felt regret.

So, regret it, I shall again in the morning. Another day, another cycle to break.

Not

This

Time

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