My dad thought I should write something funny.
So here’s a story about a bunny.
The bunny was called Lord Carrotmore Roger.
Known in Westminster as the artful dodger.
He never really raised his voice in parliament.
Thought the bell that rang in the end was heaven-sent.
Then one day they discussed a carrot ban.
Lord Roger had a stash in his mini van.
So naturally, he couldn’t agree with the motion.
Yet of resistance he had no notion.
“What should I do?”, he though to himself.
Then he took a truffle from his shelf.
“You pigs”, he commenced his speech.
“Would for a truffle me beseech.
Yet in your hour of need
To a ban you would pay heed?
‘Tis much like my situation at present.
I say that the number of carrots we should augment.”
The right honorable Lord Porkster himself then replied:
“‘Tis not over the import of truffles but of carrots that we preside.
Has ever an animal other than a rabbit, a need for a carrot?
It’s something that wouldn’t repeat even my parrot.
And the colour orange: so ghastly, so bright.
Don’t you think that to get rid of it would be a delight?”
Lord Roger saw that he was in the minority.
But on carrots he must be considered the authority.
“‘Tis arbitrary, this ban on one legume.
The arrogance makes me fume!
How often shall government yet intervene?
There’s everything or nothing, but nothing in between?
It’s not only my liberty you choose to stifle.
With another majority this house would think that the truffle’s a trifle.”
“Well then”, said Lord Porkster, admittedly sour.
“I guess we shan’t prevent the baker from using flour.”
The house voted nay and the motion was dismissed.
When Lord Roger finally died, he was sorely missed.
“From the backbench he fought for his constituency”,
They said of him, and revered him unambiguously.
When just months before no one knew his name.
Except the roll of speakers, of which he was the shame.