In this day and age you can’t really be gone.
You’re never really unreachable.
Nothing is ever far away.
Is there a place where I can just melt without someone throwing ice at me?
Is there a crack I can fall through without a safety net underneath?
Stop trying to help me, I want my freedom back!
Your fucking smile as you save me from myself is unbearable, even at my happiest hour.
I live in a tyranny of goodwill.
No charity is too small to annoy the fuck out of me.
No helping hand smooth enough for me not to feel thoroughly disgusted.
Just leave me be!
My head hurts and it’s the only thing that doesn’t feel artificial.
Nothing numbed, nothing rose-hued.
Just insufferable pain.
Then comes the rain.
I’ve never had a clear head when I was happy.
I’ve never felt obfuscated in my sadness.
The fog lifts when I feel hollow, not when I pretend to smile.
It’s been like that for a while…